Take a Stand in your Relationships

March 4, 2015

I express love and compassion to others on a general basis and work on understanding where people are at on their journey regardless of whether I agree with them or not.  There is a fine line though when it comes to showing compassion and unconditional love for another's negative and dysfunctional behavior, especially when it continues to create havoc in your own daily life.

Loving someone does not mean that you are meant to be walked on or treated poorly.  When you stand up for yourself and create healthy boundaries you allow space for the other person to hopefully recognize their toxic behavior and decide that their negative actions are not healthy for themselves or anyone involved.

 

The majority of an individual's unhealthy behavior is learned as a child and was most likely used as a way to feel safe, in an unsafe environment. The issue is when we use these coping mechanisms as adults that we learned as children to feel safe and end up causing so called drama that only gets in the way.

 

Depending on how extreme the dysfunctional behavior is will determine whether  the individual should consider getting professional help or not.

It is not easy to take a stand and tell someone you love that their behavior stinks, but in the long run you are helping them and saving the relationship from completely being destroyed. Of course there is never a guarantee that the person you are having conflict with, will decide to get help and become healthy.

This is where your own self - love comes in.  You have to make a conscious choice to love yourself more and no longer tolerate unhealthy behavior.  In the long run you are being an example to others.  Everyone is on their own unique soul journey and in my opinion is here to learn and grow.

This is where the unconditional love and compassion plays in, not only for you but for the other person. 

A support group that really helped me grow and change my dysfunctional behavior especially in relationships is called CoDA. I encourage you to check it out if it resonates with you. LIVE - LOVE - NOW

 

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